Take #74: Stop! That! Train!
Stop! That! Train! marks the first foray into the World of Wonder cinematic universe. It is the story of two best gal friends and budget train stewardesses, Tess (Ginger Minj) and DeeDee (Jujubee) who find themselves unemployed when Stank Rail, their employer abruptly closes. Every industrious, the two see this an opportunity to pivot and finagle their way into positions at the luxury cross-country (or maybe isn’t his case, cross-c*ntry) bullet train, the Glamazonian Express. Among the crew of the Glamazonian are mean girl stewardesses Amber (Brooke Lynn Hytes), Ali (Marcia Marcia Marcia) and Ayshleiygh (Symone) who have been a thorn in the sides of Tess and DeeDee since their days at the train academy. It’s not all bad though: there is also the dreamy Cal (Brian Jordan Alvarez) who holds the distinct honor of being named the Conductors We Want to See the D-ck of who has taken a fancy toward DeeDee who is equally attracted to. Unfortunately for them (but crucial to the plot), The Glamazonian Express finds itself on a collision course with a catastrophic “Stormaganza” and after looking its brakes, is on courser to crash into a nuclear site.. Word of this gets to President Judy Gagwell (RuPaul Charles) who, upon hearing the news begins experiencing traumatic flashbacks that threaten her ability to keep it together and lead during this potential disaster.
Phew. This one is A LOT. And let’s be honest, it’s pretty dumb. No, very dumb. But it’s still a good time (more or less.)
First up, the cast. Any fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race will be very familiar with the majority of this case. Center stage are fan favorites Ginger Minj and Jujubee. These queens are considered to be two of the funniest queens in the entire franchise so it’s interesting seeing them not necessarily being funny. They are almost the, for lack of a better term, the “straight men” of the film. Yes, they have funny moment, but they are the anchors and allow for those around them to be the actually comedy. Case in point, Latrice Royale is a scene stealer as Barbara who also worked at Stank Rail who also lands on her feet and manages to somehow be EVERYWHERE, deliver a hysterical line or two, move on to the next scene, rinse, and repeat. Besides the queens, there are sooooo many cameos and guest appearances: Michelle Visage, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nicole Richie, Raven-Symone, Chris Parnell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Charo! Rachel Bloom. Joel McHale, Drew Droege, Nicole Sullivan, Jerry O’Connell, Lisa Rinna, Daniel Franzese, Jai Rodriguez, and Drag Race Alumni Monet X Change and Angeria Paris VanMichaels—- and this isn’t even a complete list!
What’s especially interesting is, the drag queens were playing women, not men playing women. As such the makeup is softer to give woman, not drag queen and believe me, there is a difference. By going this route, they can avoid some many of the cliche of “man is a dress” that we get all the time. It was really nice to see Brian Jordan Alvarez from the gone too soon English Teacher, doing his best Keaun Reeves’ “Dude” voice as a love interest and not have the “oh-my-goodness,- DeeDee’s-a- man- and- he- doesn’t- know- it- it-, isn’t- that- funny” trope that most movies would have gone for, the low hanging fruit.
But was it funny? It really was going for gay Airplane. This movie was defintely going for high joke density. Honestly, A LOT of them didn’t land, but enough did to keep it entertaining until the end, which admittedly seemed a little drawn out. I imagine that at least some of the jokes will hit harder with a rewatch because many got lost in the quick pace. The scene with Monet X Change is a clear example. She is usually hilarious, but I nor the people I was with laughed once during her scene but I am willing to bet, there is some decent stuff there. As I said, Ginger and Juju are more straight (wo)men which is kind of a shame because we love them when they are funny. It does allow them to show a bit more range since they had to flex different muscles so that is a win of sorts.
It is far from perfect, I will admit. But I am glad it exists. It was funny in parts. It was also nice to see something that was just fluff with low stakes. The only way to go is up. Curious to what they will have learned going forward if there is more to come. If not, at least we got a fun little romp. In the words of Mother Ru, it was “Safe.”
My score: 71
Stop! Before you leave, Shontay, it stays or should is Sashay and walk away? Let me know in the comments. Have a SUPER week (yes that is a hint for next week’s movie provided everything goes according to schedule.) And until next time…
